personal

my heart

these two. these children who by their neediness leave me exhausted each day, who don't sleep as much or as easily as i wish they would, who make messes all over the house and my clothing....

these children who enlarge my heart to dimensions i didn't know it was capable of, who fill my cup to overflowing...

they are my heart.

on the other side

this past weekend, my little family got to be on the other side of the camera. usually that means that i've put the camera on a tripod, but this time that wasn't the case. this time, a real life photographer came from across the big lake, along with her husband, spent a night with our family, and did a slice-of-life, family photojournalism session with us on a saturday morning as we cuddled in bed at 7:30 a.m., made and ate a pancake breakfast, played in the yard, drank our coffee by the fire, and all other manner of ordinary activities. i admit that i felt a little self-conscious. more than i thought that i would. and i was a bit preoccupied with the overcast skies because the lack of clean morning light made me worried that Sarah would have trouble getting the best images. i felt a little self-conscious about the in-process state of our [new] home, wishing that i were more lived-in already, more filled. i also will admit - though it's a bit embarrassing - that i often caught myself extending moments and interactions that i thought were cute or beautiful so that Sarah might grab a shot of it. apparently, even when we're technically not posing, it is still a temptation to pose.

but after she left and i started processing the experience, my excitement grew. because here's the thing: i know she caught us. it doesn't matter a bit about the state of the house or the color of the light. we were really just doing our thing. we were being a family, as our family is in this season of our life. it's not an easy season. truth is, it's a really difficult season on a number of fronts. but it's still worth documenting, will still be something to recall with gratitude. and having these images will help us to do that, years from now. my loose belly skin peeking through my t-shirt, tim's less-than-ideal haircut, hazel's chipped tooth and "crazy face" expressions, and gus' pasty white chub, the house with a few too many bare walls... oh, that's the good stuff. that's the stuff worth remembering. because it's human. it's family.

i haven't seen the photos yet. i'm doing my best to wait patiently. meantime, i have this one preview to look at a grin (isn't my son the cutest little chubby buddy?!):

gus in the morning // photo by Lovely Ember Photography

this probably sounds self-interested, but i have to tell you, friends: you really ought to be photographed in this way. please don't wait until you feel like you're in shape enough, or your child outgrows a difficult developmental stage, or your house finally gets the pinterest-inspired make-over you dream of. do it now. then do it again in 2 or 3 years.

i promise you won't regret it.

what about the money? again, it's so worth it. we planned ahead for this... like 8 months ahead. i put a line item in our budget so that each month we were setting aside some to save up to pay this photographer (who is worth every penny she charges and probably more!). i value this a great deal; enough to sacrifice some other things along the way so that we can do this every couple of years.

besides, i couldn't strongly urge you to do it if i wasn't doing it myself, could i?!

 

 

becoming a specialist : the plan for 2013

after spending more than 10 years with my eye pressed up against the viewfinder of an SLR camera (first it was 35 mm, then digital), after pointing it in the direction of so very many things, places, and people, some things have come started to come clear. you look at my portfolio right now and you’ll see i have been a generalist: weddings, engagements, families-who-are-posed, mini-session portraits, babies, kids, graduation and anniversary parties,  multi-generational family groups, seniors, boudoir, and birth.

what a lovely, lovely world filled with a billions of beautiful faces and thousands of good reasons to celebrate and document those celebrations. i’ve seen the fresh love and creative pinnacle of a wedding day, the flirtatious adoration of an engaged couple, the traditions of families stopping to commemorate, the sensual daring of a woman who’ll be photographed in her undergarments to give some joy to the man she loves, and the tentative coming-into-self of a graduating senior. i have loved it all, each in its own way.

today, feeling now so blessed to have been allowed to witness and document so many sorts of breath-taking people and their moments in time, i feel i can now step back and ask myself: out of all of this varied glory, what is the one thing that resonates most deeply, that brings me so much life that i want to spend as much time around it as possible?

i might have answered this question differently 5 or 8 years ago, had i bothered to ask it of myself, but i didn’t. so today, the answer to this question is this:

that which is raw and ordinary, which is family, which is life. 

more specifically:

family photo-journalism

(the kind where no one gets especially dressed up, and they probably stay home and just do the sorts of things that families do while i just happen to be present to make note of it on film)

Image

and

birth stories

(the sort where women - and their men - are transformed as they undergo the process of giving life to a new little person, and are brave enough to allow me into that space to witness it through my camera’s eye)

Image

mmmm, yes. those things get my heart pumping. these are the ones that i look forward to doing more than any other sort of photography job.

so.

what if those two things became unapologetically my specialty? what if i began to say “no” to other sorts of work so that i could indulge in and master these two sorts? what if i gave myself over to that which i really love, and that which i think i do best?

there’s a degree of risk. will it shrink my client base too significantly? will it disappoint certain folks? will i be going back to square one to re-establish myself within these new parameters?

yup, risky, but it feels right.

this is the new plan, friends. website and blog and facebook page will begin to reflect said changes very soon (well, maybe after my maternity leave).

i’m very much looking forward to this new chapter of my photography career. i hope to see you there.

 

faith and photos

being a photographer is not an automatically, or obviously, christian vocation. not like being a missionary or a pastor or a "person in ministry." but as a person who also has one of those job titles, i have come to see that all places and vocations are extensions of the kingdom, that the Holy Spirit, when He is invited, infuses all things with His distinctive light. He makes all things beautiful. so here's my little secret: in the car, as i'm driving to meet you at your home or the park or the church where you're about to get married, i am praying. out loud like a crazy woman. i'm asking the Holy Spirit to anoint me with the spirit of creativity, and i'm asking the Father to give me eyes to see you in all your unique quirks and glorious beauty. i am offering Him my hands, my eyes, my camera, and my imagination, so that they can be His, and so that they can be used to make something really meaningful and celebratory and good. for you.

i know i can't mine and then capture the beauty of YOU without HIS empowering. so i have to ask Him. every time.

and since i've begun to do this, i've been getting more feedback from you. you remark about how well i "got you." and when you do, i smile in my heart and say, "thank  you, Jesus."

He does all things well. even photography.

the farm

there are a million farms. but this is the one that i call The Farm. because my friends are the ones who keep it. chris and holley have always wanted a farm, and this past year that dream came true. it's beautiful. and they are doing such good work with it. recently my SIL and i took our daughters out there to visit all the animals. the subject of most of these photos is my sweet girl discovering cats, cows, and sheep. she is my favorite model, after all. :)

to plant a garden

after plotting out the garden beds (8 of them, each 8" x 4"), we bought loads of seeds and planned a planting day. my mom and our friend casey came to help out. hazel also made an appearance as the littlest gardener. this is our second year planting a garden. i hope it will be better than the first. last year's garden was planned by everyone BUT me -- our friends and some helpers from a community garden advocacy group. they gathered materials, built beds, bought and enriched soil, and decided where things would go. all i did was show up for planting day, which was May 29, a date i remember well because it was the day i began labor. i worked in the garden that day, feeling my body begin to stir and work, knowing that by day's end i'd probably be calling the midwives. which turned out to be true. hazel was born two days later. and the garden suffered neglect because we were too busy tending to her to tend to the garden. still, it grew food, which proves once again that it is the nature of a plant to grow, and that food growing in a plot of earth behind your house is probably something close to a miracle.

this year i feel more invested. i planned the beds and bought the seeds. i planted today with labor to distract me. and i am very much looking forward to watching it grow this season.

the babysitter

i was out tonight, photographing our friends' engagement session (that post coming soon) and got back a bit later than expected. emily put herself to sleep while putting hazel to sleep. i couldn't resist snapping a photograph before waking her up.

fresh

it's time for a fresh start. i had a blog before and it's fallen into a state of disrepair. it was no longer something i was proud of or invested in. the work it displayed was no longer an accurate representation of who i've become as a photographer, or of the images that i create. so i'm not exactly sad to say goodbye to brookecollierphotography.blogspot.com.

in beginning this new blog, along with this new website, i could back up and blog some sessions from the past year (and i may do that, if i have spare time and inclination), but i'm more inclined toward starting right at this moment. today. from today onward i will blog the photography sessions that i do. and also some personal bits.

thanks for joining me on this new journey. and though it may be cliche to say it, i could not do it without YOU: you who put yourselves and your loves in front of my lens and collaborate with me to create something beautiful and lasting. thank you for that.

on this sunny and decidedly spring-like wednesday morning, i'll leave you with a single frame, featuring my favorite model, miss hazel june.